Adios, Ticker!

Today's the day! I'm far enough along that I'm cleared for homebirth. Woooo! That means, if I go into labor right now I don't have to go anywhere. Not that I want to go in labor right now, no way. Uh-uh. We still have way too much to do. Most of our supplies are gathered and we're picking up the Aquadoula on Saturday, but we're just not.ready.

That also means I'm removing the ticker from this blog. The baby will come when he's ready, so don't worry about how many weeks I am. I'll have the baby by mid-September. That's all you need to know. :-)

Everything is still going great. I'm measuring right on target, my blood pressure is great, and I have virtually no swelling. My GBS test came back negative (!!!) and my bloodwork was good. The only problem is I'm achy, crampy, and SORE. Ugh. None of it's a bad sign or anything, it just sucks.


I also have a project update for you. I haven't done a lot on it lately. We all had a stomach flu and then Matt was gone on his annual fishing trip for a week. I'm tired! Here's what it looks like now:


And here's the latest update (it's all Amy's clan!):


26. AmyLou -- Amy is awesome. She's a wonderful friend. She's also throwing me a mother's blessing party in a week. It's going to be so great. So, so great. :-)

27. Schenley

28. Jacob

29. Nicol

30. Shari

Thanks guys! Your block makes me smile.

Also, if there are any of you out there who still want to contribute yarn, now is the time. There's not much more time before the baby comes! If you want your section to be at least one complete circle, you should probably send 7-8 yards or meters rather than 3-5. It's getting pretty wide around.

Thanks again to everyone who has contributed so far. It warms my heart to see all the different yarns working together. Love it!

An Updated Picture!

Here you go, the Matchbox van is for scale. :-) If I were to take it off the needles, it would be a big circle with a diameter of about 30". Still too small to be anything, but much bigger than it used to be. Right now I'm all out of contributor yarn, so I think I'll just go around and around with the main yarn until I get any more (if I get any more, that is). I haven't been to the Post Office since Monday, so if you sent something in very recently it may be waiting for me in the box.

Here's a close-up with the labels:

(click for a bigger picture in a new window)

17. Pam of teh interwebz :-)

18. Mona & Sara. Mona's one of my 76-er cousins, there were four of us born in 1976. Mona and Sara have a brand new baby girl, so everyone send out huge congrats to them. Rumor has it I'm going to get to squish her next week. I.can't.wait. Oh, and a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Mona today, too.

19. Shosh. Shosh is planning a VBAC very soon so she need some GO SHOSH!'s GO SHOSH!

20. Kathy. Matt's aunt and a wonderful woman. We love Kathy.

21. Rhea. Another mom of a Gabriel. :-)

22. Jos. Jos's yarn is all crazy and colorful, just like Jos. This yarn was really fun to knit in.

23. Gina & Michelle. Gina's also a 76-er, and it's also her birthday today. Happy birthday Gina!

24. Christina. I miss Christina. Move back!

25. Angela. Another great interwebz friend. Angela, you're a sweetheart.


So there it is. That's everyone. If you're still thinking about sending in yarn I would suggest you do it SOON. I'm 33 weeks today, which means time is ticking away. This Sunday we have a "get organized" home visit with the entire birth team and our home birth supply box is getting filled with all the necessities. We only have a few things left to get, including getting all the baby stuff out of the attic.

Time flies man, time flies.

24 WeeksToday!

Time keeps marching on, doesn't it? I haven't updated in a while because Gabe had a cold and then I had it. Now Matt's home early from work with it. Good times.

Things are moving along fine. I'm no longer in so much pain I'm in tears, my hips and pelvis seem to be working better now. I'm so relieved, I was panicking about things just getting worse and worse as I got further along. A breather is very nice. I just have to remember to wear some shoes while I'm cooking and doing dishes on the hard floor of the kitchen. *grumble*

The blanket is coming along great. I have been thrilled to get more yarn from all around. The notes and messages that have been included have been wonderful. I can't ever tell you how much it means to me.

Here's what it looks like so far:
I'm out of yarn again so I'm stalking the post office. Here's who's been worked in since my last update:

8. Yve (who sent the most sparkly yarn all the way from England!)

9. Kathy (the one from Colorado :D )

10. Aunt Marilyn

11. My mom

12. Yuling

(Click for full-sized photo)

Every contribution is deeply special, but I have to mention Yuling. When I pulled her package out of the box I squealed right there in the post office. Yuling and I spent countless hours together in graduate school. She was my mentor and my friend. She finished her doctorate (so she's one WAY up on me!) and moved to northern California. I haven't seen her in years, and we haven't talked in ages. Seeing her package warmed my heart and made my day. Here's a lesson to you all: if there's someone you really love out there, don't be an idiot like me. Keep in touch with them!

Progress!

(click for larger photo)

It took me a while to get this thing going. I had so many problems getting this on the needles. You'd think it'd be easy, especially since I've done this type of thing many times. It wasn't. It kept slipping off, I messed up the (embarrassingly simple) pattern, I dropped needles. It took me three days to finally get it going!

Once I got it going, however, it really started moving. This is my progress up through Sunday night. That was when I ran out of contributors. I have been working in the yarn I've received in the order that they have arrived, once I got past my three guys here at home. So far this is who is worked in:

1. Matt (He actually picked out his own yarn at the store! Have I mentioned how much my husband rocks?)
2. Gabe (I picked one of my stash yarns that he always wants to carry around, close enough)
3. Rocky (Yarn that's basically the same color as his fur, again: close enough)
4. Jenny
5. Fran
6. Michele
7. Tabitha

Thanks to everyone who has contributed so far. I am really, really touched and am THRILLED at how it is coming out. True, it looks like a really ugly puffy hat right now, but that's because it's big enough that I need to swap out the cable for something longer. Trust me, it looks good.

I have to give a quick plug to the knitters out there. When I ordered my yarn I got a set of size 8 Harmony wood needles for my Options interchangeable set from Knit Picks. I am in LOVE with these needles. They are super pointy-sharp and smooth while still giving you the grip you'd want from wood needles. I couldn't be happier. Plus, they're really gorgeous. Now I need them in all the sizes! Plus the DPN's!

My first package!

I got my first package on Tuesday! I was so excited. Jenny sent me a beautiful skein of variegated yarn and a beautiful necklace she got at her own Blessingway. I can't tell you how much that meant to me.


MY yarn, the yarn I ordered, is backordered! I am so excited to get started but I'm in limbo. I really hope it comes soon. [grumble]

In other news, I went to my (hopefully last) shadow care appointment last night. This time I got less than five minutes with the midwife and she was twitching on the edge of her seat to leave the whole time. There was absolutely no joy in the appointment. At no point did anyone seem, I don't know, excited that a baby was coming. I'm halfway along (20 weeks today!) but it was so very impersonal and clinical. Is this what it's like for the rest of you in hospital practices? I'm just so used to seeing a midwife who knows me really well and is genuinely happy with the progress of the pregnancy and the amazing potential of a new life.

I noticed last night that no single person has looked over my chart totally. Different tests and visits are all done by different people who input the results into a computer. If something is out of order, the computer will flag it. Otherwise, there isn't a single person with a bird's-eye view of the pregnancy. That made me really uncomfortable. What if things are technically in the normal range, but there are enough things edging high or low that it might catch a person's eye and move them to work on prevention? Does this get missed until something is clearly wrong? Just more thoughts.

Anyway, last night my blood pressure was fine and the baby's heart rate was 150 bpm. I made the mistake of telling the midwife about the hip and pelvic pain I've been having and got interrogated about WHY I had PAIN. Well, hell, I don't know. Maybe I was hoping YOU had some suggestions. :-P

Thankfully I already had some good suggestions from my chiropractor and "real" midwife. Heh.

Here it is!

Here's info about the big project:

http://www.geocities.com/smack103/support_knitwork.html

I can't wait to get started!

The Cat's Out of the Bag!

Ack! We're telling people IRL today. TODAY! It's 13 weeks today and we're leaving the first trimester behind so it's time to tell.

It seems like a long time to wait, but in a lot of ways we'd like to wait longer (can't really, not when people see my little belly!). I think most of our family will be happy and supportive, but I know the VBAC (HBAC) issue will come up. We have one family member who made some extremely hurtful comments when we were planning my son's birth. I still get a little tug of sadness when I think of the things she said. I am dreading what she's going to say this time.

I have another family member who has already basically told my mom that I'm going to rip apart at the seams if I am silly enough not to plan another c-section. I wasn't even pregnant at the time and it took a while to peel my poor mom off the ceiling.

The rest of the family is a crap shoot. I really don't know what they'll say. Hopefully they'll realize that my husband and I would NEVER do anything to put our baby's life in danger -- or increase the risk that my babies will grow up without a mother. Hopefully they'll know us well enough to understand that we make the choices we do because we believe they are the safest and sanest around. Hopefully.

So, if you can, think of me and my husband over the next few days as we start collecting reactions. We've practiced our responses and have our strategies, but it SUCKS that we're feeling so apprehensive and, well, sad about telling our family such wonderful news.

Oh, and pray none of them have read that stupid ACOG statement! Jeez!

Stages of Recovery from Birth Trauma

http://observantmidwife.blogspot.com/2008/02/gray-grey-messenger-recovery.html
(Possibly NSFW pic in header -- lots of boobies)

Navelgazing Midwife has a beautiful post on her blog about the stages of recovery from a difficult/traumatic birth. It's really a beautiful post, and I highly recommend it for any of you out there who have been through a birth that tore at your heart.

This midwife is a local midwife and is very active with our local ICAN chapter. I remember calling her out of the blue one day about a year ago when I was deep in the middle of my "Sadness for Experience" stage. She reached out to the blubbering strange woman on the phone and gave me some really powerful words. Those words settled into my heart and nourished it, pushing me along to reframing and accepting my son's birth.

I like to think I'm in the "Preparation" stage now. I guess this blog is part of that. I want to help other mothers, but I realize that everyone has their own path to walk. If they want my help, they will reach for it. I'm also gathering a cocoon of support for my next birth, something I don't think I've ever done in my entire life.

So, go read the post. Tell me what you think.

Picking Colors

I'm getting closer to telling my big plan for my support project, but I still have some details to iron out. Let me just say that it's going to be a blanket/shawl similar to the blanket I made for the midwife for my son's birth. You can read about it here on my other, infinitely more irreverent (are rarely updated) blog. I'm not going to do the improvised ribbing, nor am I going to have the yarn doubled. I want something that will be a bit more "auto-pilot" because knitting with a 2 1/2 year old running around is different from knitting with a 1 1/2 year old. I'm sure you parents know what I mean.

Right now I'm trying to decide on a color. Obviously we don't know yet if the baby is a boy or a girl, but this is for me, not for the baby. I've picked a few colors and am going to have a poll in the margin for voting.

The yarn I have chosen is this: Swish Superwash by Knit Picks. The colors I am considering are: Ballerina, Fired Brick, Wisteria, Deep Ocean, and Aloe.

Go, take a look, and vote. :-)

Late-ish August / Early September

That's when I'm due. In order to save you from my rant about due dates, I'll just say this kid is probably going to be a Virgo.

My son's birth was rough. Really rough. He was born by cesarean section after a very long, very hard labor and a transfer from a planned homebirth. Last time I went it alone. I didn't reach out much at all. I'm not good about asking for help.

I've learned a lot since then.

This blog will be a place for me to reach out. I have some things planned, some ways to connect with my friends scattered around the country and across the globe. I will have a couple projects going that you, kind readers, can help out with. I still have some details to iron out, but should be ready to get started after the new year.

I'm planning another homebirth, with a new midwife since mine has moved away. I'm setting up interviews now, and am quite nervous. Finding a midwife is like looking for a spouse. You're looking for Ms. Right. I'll let you know how it goes.

So now all there is to do is try to enjoy feeling queasy and tired. Oh, and chase after my two-year-old. There's always that.